The Male Gaze and Patriarchy

The Male Gaze is the idea of looking at a woman from a man’s perspective. From the beginning of art, women depicted were being objectified by the author and the audience who were always assumed to being male. Many of the paintings from that period of time give the idea that the woman is being seductive. The truth is that the woman in the picture or painting is not consciously being seductive, but instead is portrayed by the author as being so. The Male Gaze is pervasive in art and popular culture because I believe this idea is unconsciously taught and passed on from generation to generation. While reading John Berger’s “Ways of Seeing” I came across a lot of ideas which I identified myself with. He talks about how a woman is constantly watching herself and worrying what others, especially men, are thinking about her.

“A woman must continually watch herself. She is almost continually accompanied by her own image of herself. Whilst she is walking across a room or whilst she is weeping the death of her father, she can scarcely avoid envisaging herself walking or weeping. From early childhood she has been taught and persuaded to survey herself continually…She has to survey everything she is and everything she does because how she appears to others, and ultimately how she appears to men, is of crucial importance for what is normally thought of as success of her life. Her own self of being in herself is supplanted by a sense of being appreciated as herself by another” (Berger, 46)

A simple example from the male gaze that I have noticed in pop culture today is in social media. Women constantly put up selfies in hopes to get many likes, especially from men. “It is the expression of a woman responding with calculated charm to the man whom she imagines looking at her – although she doesn’t know him. She is offering up her femininity as the surveyed” (Berger, 55). Yes, I know it isn’t all women and yes, men put up selfies too, but it is predominantly women seeking approval from the spectator. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/judy-farah/selfie-craze_b_4983014.html

I also don’t think we do this consciously, but rather because it is what we have unconsciously been taught. “In the art-form of the European nude the painters and spectator-owners were usually men and the persons being treated as objects, usually women. This unequal relationship is so deeply embedded in our culture that it still structures the consciousness of many women. They do to themselves what men do to them. They survey, like men, their own femininity” (Berger, 63). Another way the male gaze is utilized in modern day is in advertisements. Either commercials or ads, women are being portrayed as seductive and sexy in order to sell. They are being objectified in order to sell.

Patriarchy is the idea that men are superior to everything and everyone. In this idea they are given the right to dominate through violence and also psychological abuse. This idea is directly linked to gender roles, an idea that has been taught to us since birth. Men are strong, women are weak. Boys don’t cry. God forbid a boy cries, they are looked at as being emotional, sensitive, and most importantly, weak. Why? Why is it ok for women to cry? Why are boys weak if they cry? Are they not allowed to show emotion? “To indoctrinate boys into the rules of patriarchy, we force them to feel pain and to deny their feelings” (hooks, 22). Yes, this is what society teaches us and it has been the norm for many years. This is what has been taught to us and this is what we will teach our children. Even if you have the idea to teach your child differently, society will come in eventually and screw up your plan. In bell hook’s “Understanding Patriarchy” Terence Real shares his experience trying to instill anti-patriarchal values to his sons. “He tells of how his young son Alexander enjoyed dressing as Barbie until boys playing with his older brother witnessed his Barbie persona and let him know by their gaze and their shocked, disapproving silence that his behavior was unacceptable” (hooks, 22).

I can see this in my own family. My father has me, his only daughter, and 3 boys from his second marriage. Even though I haven’t lived with him since I was 6 years old, it is really ridiculous how different he treats me compared to my brothers. He is tough on them. He yells at them and they work during the summers in his business so they are taught responsibility. When I was younger I worked during my summers because I chose to, not because I was forced to do so. I can’t recall my dad ever yelling at me. When I was younger I was a picky eater. During dinners at my dad’s I just wouldn’t eat if I didn’t like something on the plate. He would try to negotiate with me to eat everything, but in the end I had the final say. My brother’s didn’t have the same luck. They had to eat everything on the plate, liked it or not, or they couldn’t get up from the table. Unconsciously, parents treat their male and female children differently, according to what society thinks is acceptable.

I always noticed how he treated me differently, but I never really thought about it until I read this article. Figures out my grandfather, his dad, is exactly the same. He was taught since he was little this is the way things have to be, and most likely it is the way my brothers will be when they have children. In families where there is a mother and a father present, the father is always the authoritative figure. When you ask mom for permission, what does she usually answer? The answer is, go ask your father. “We are socialized into this system, females as well as males. Most of us learned patriarchal attitudes in our family origin, and they are usually taught to us by our mothers. These attitudes were reinforced in schools and religious institutions” (hooks, 23).